Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
