You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
