everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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