I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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