sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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