Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My vagina just recognized that song.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My penis needs a shock collar
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
