What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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