How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
