WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
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