his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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