I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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