Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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