oh god the rape fog is back!
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Randomize
