Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
