They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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