You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
