Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
