Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
