I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
