I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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