Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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