what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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