yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
