the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
