it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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