i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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