I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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