So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
