Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
