I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
