you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
