i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
