i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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