you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
