This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Randomize
