Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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