Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
