some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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