I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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