just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize
