i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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