physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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