Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
