"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize