The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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