everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
