just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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