ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
