I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
