This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
