I can tuck mytits in my pants
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
